Wednesday 20 January 2016

Quilting and Gender: the lesson I am taking away


Gosh where to start!  Did you see the gender debate that has been happening in quilt blog land these last few weeks?  If not head over to Hunters Design Studiowhere Sam gives her thoughts and links to the other bloggers who have written about it. 

By writing about it here on my blog I don't want to open up the divisions I've seen explored on the other blogs but to write something about how following this debate has affected my view on gender and quilting.  I first saw gender raised in a debate on the cost of making a quilt and selling it for what it is really worth on Molli Sparkles blog (blog posts under We are $ew Worth it).  Questions were raised in the comments on why women tend towards not asking for their true worth but sell goods at prices less than they should.  It surprised me at the time as I thought what has being a woman got to do with pricing a quilt - isn't it market prices for your target audience and cost+some profit???  Naive, I know!

Some were claiming quilting as a woman's realm where men were dishonouring quilters of the past struggling to make a living by wading in with cost sheets asking why sell your handmade goods for less than they are worth - it got a bit heated and I left the debate shaking my head at it all.  That was 2013 but it has stuck with me and feels like not so long ago.  Cue 2016 and the debate has moved on to Male quilters only exhibitions (No Girls Allowed), Male Privilege and not a whole lot of sympathy for a man complaining of his gender always being a topic of conversation because he is a male quilter.  One commenter made a statement about how the lack of comments from other women was telling.  Telling what I don't know but at that point I had read all the comments (which are quite hard to read at times, anger and frustration from both sides of the debate practically jumping off the page!) and not commented yet myself.  I had to ask myself why?

I've seen some comments on social media wondering why as quilters with a common interest we can't all just get along, after all there should be room for everyone who wants to make a quilt in our community.  And I've seen some disappointment that our normally happy, supportive space was somehow threatened by the discussion.  I felt this too but still didn't explain why I was both interested and uncomfortable with the debate and pondering further the discussion about privilege, I think it may be that as a white woman living in Ireland I have enjoyed some privilege too. 

I've never understood how colour is always an issue in the US but I am starting to.  Coming from a country predominantly white I have never faced colour as an issue, never felt out of place because I am white, never at a disadvantage - it doesn't figure in my daily life. Privileged, yes.  As a female mechanical engineer I was 1 of 4 girls who graduated from a class of about 80.  I had a good bunch of classmates and while in the minority I didn't feel out of place.  My first engineering job as a student intern in the US I did have a boss for 3 1/2 months who told me women didn't belong in engineering - he was the minority in that opinion and I happily ignored him!  When I left college my first job along with 4 others of my classmates started on equal pay.  It never occurred to me that I would be paid differently.  A friend of mine had a different experience.  She saw her male colleagues earn more for the same work, be appreciated more for their forwardness and get promoted quicker.  I hadn't the same experience, I thought she was over reacting - Shame on me!  The gender pay gap in Ireland is 14.4%.  Quite a difference isn't it?

Last year our guild branch had a raffle and donated the group quilt we had made to raise money for Adapt House, a refuge centre and outreach service for those who have suffered domestic abuse.  The lady who received the cheque thanked us and gave a very moving speech.  She told us the statistics were 1 in 5 women will at some point suffer abuse.  It is higher that the same statistic for breast cancer (1 in 10) and how many people do I know that that's affected ? 1 in 5, scary isn’t it?  

This debate coming on the back of a tumultuous year all around the world has made me stop and think.  Men are not alone in feeling unwelcome in quilt shops at times.  I know quite a few people have had their ability as a quilter questioned, the assumption because they are young they don't know what they are doing.  Men are not alone when telling people they quilt and get that look, the assumption being it's an old person's hobby.  In this month's quilters newsletter there is an article about ageism/sexism and the term Grandmother's quilts.  Quite a few women have expressed  how they don't fit in some traditional guilds, preferring to connect with quilters online.  Seems we have some work to do to get past assumptions and make our community truly inclusive. 

If we want our quilting community to be the welcoming happy place most of us experience, we need to be open to the discussion in a respectful way.  Our community can only grow closer and be more inclusive if we recognise gender inequality does matter, we do need to talk about it,  and recognise that every body's experience is important in the debate, male and female.  It has to start with the recognition that privilege can make you blind to the subtleties of an issue or even that there is an issue to be addressed at all.  That's the lesson I am taking away from this round of the gender discussion. How about you?  Has it affected your thoughts on gender in our quilting community in any way?

16 comments:

  1. this is amazing. All the turmoil in the world and this is an issue? Oh, for Pete's sake. Quilters are people and people like to judge others if they are insecure in any way. They like to feel "better than". Growing up pudgy, I received my share of rejection. Rejection is never easy, and probably never productive.
    On a personal note, I am just happy to find quilters who know how to laugh, and enjoy the process and seek those out what ever age, experience level, gender they are. I have always been kind of a maverick with art, and am no stranger to being judged for it around the traditionalists and artquilters alike. Amazing to be judged harshly from both ends of the spectrum!!
    Shrug. If there is anything I have learned over the years it is that you'll see what you look for.
    And we're more alike than we're different.
    LeeAnna

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    1. It surprised me greatly that this was an issue in 2013. Can't say it has surprised me this time around but what has been a surprise is how aggressive at times and how very emotive the whole discussion has been. Having seen how people treat each other on other forums like photography boards I am very glad that on the whole that quilters have created a very happy supportive space.

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  2. Ruth, I think part of your naiveté (and mine) over these issues, is that you don't have gender and age prejudices yourself and so were surprised at the extent of it in the quilting community. Privilege comes into play, but so does innocence - they walk hand in hand.

    Because I don't drive, I'm not part of a guild or a local quilting group. My quilting community is my fellow bloggers. We get a rosy view being part of this community. Quilting bloggers as a whole seem to be more accepting, welcoming and inclusive than the average group. But I've seen the other side of the story from the opinions people post in quilting forums and it often left me feeling shocked and worried about humanity. It's like LeeAnna just said above "Oh for Pete's Sake!"

    On issues of gender equality: In our two countries we've come a long way, although as you pointed out, there is still far to go. In a world view, women still suffer unbelievable oppression and inequality. We shouldn't sit back and rest in our own comfortable situations. Protesting the unfairness of pricing in handmade goods is important. The same is true for any jobs traditionally held by women. This might be naive thinking on my part, but one would hope that the more injustice we can correct here, the more change for good will filter through to other communities of women worldwide. Things have changed so much in my lifetime that it gives me hope for the future.

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    1. I love the warmth in your reply and the hopeful outlook Lara. I do think we have rosy view, I know I do and I like it a lot! That could be why some people have chosen not to enter the debate. I agree change will only come if we recognise our situations aren't the same for everyone and engage in the conversation respecting each other. Some of the comments on the other blogs were hard going and I don't know if the online forum lends itself that well to a discussion like this. A discussion worth having all the same, though.

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  3. We are all people who enjoy quilting..nothing else should matter.. I haven't had gender issues in the quilting world but I am old enough to have had it while working.. My problem is now with the local guild, I do not fit because I like the more modern colours and designs, even though I am old!!! and was made to feel very unwanted, so I plod on alone,learning from and enjoying mainly American quilt blogs which are fantastic.. I live in England and prejudice isn't in general as big a problem as it seems to be in USA.

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    1. when I first started quilting I didn't know anyone else making quilts so happily found quilt bloggers and those with a similar taste in quilts to mine. I love the bright modern style and the generous sharing nature found online. Like Lara said this rosy space has probably coloured my vision and the real world is not always like that unfortunately.

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  4. Well said!! Who cares? If you make a great quilt, I don't care if you're a man or woman. Why can't we all get along and support each other????

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    1. It seems quite a few people care deeply and others not at all, wanting our space to be a happy escape from reality. We don't create in a vacuum, the real world has more impact than I first thought it seems. On one of the blogs there were over 140 comments and some were not very pleasant at all. Those that have chosen not to engage with the issue is what I am interested in. For my part I do think it is a conversation worth having and I think it will pop up again!

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    2. Exactly, Anja. I will add to that by saying that I do not care if you are old or young, modern or traditional. Heck, I don't even care if you like purple and batiks! I hang out with the older ladies (and a few men) in the traditional guild and find them to be great company. No, they are not like me, but people do not have to be my clone to be my friend.

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    3. I quite like purple so am glad you'll still hang out with me! It can be hard sometimes being a newbie and entering a guild for the first time. People by nature can be cliquey and my first couple of visits to our guild I did feel massively awkward, that passed and I now have a great bunch of quilty friends. That welcoming attitude is what we have online as the status quo and it surprises me in the real world when I don't see it amongst quilters. As Lee Anna said we are more alike than we are different and I love your last line above. I'm imagining a quilt guild of storm troopers - wouldn't that be fun!

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  5. Like you a have read all the arguments and at times felt uncomfortable, and occasionally really shocked. This is a balanced, thoughtful reflection, thanks.

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    1. Thanks Kaja! Amazing to see how emotive it all has been from all sides of the discussion.

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  6. Thank you for a very balanced and insightful reflection. I must admit I have been quite shocked by some of the discussions of late, or more by the reaction to them. I think there are two main issues at play in these discussions. The first pretty much seems to boil down to the question of "should men quilt?". When it comes to crafting of any sort I don't see why it should matter who you are or what your gender is, if you enjoy a particular craft then you should be treated equally to all others who also enjoy that craft. I have found myself wondering of late if I feel this way about quilting in particular because being Irish, but now living in Switzerland, quilting is not something that has any historic meaning to me. It is not something I grew up knowing about nor is it something that has been passed down to me through generations so I do not see it as being gender specific. Quilting is something I discovered through books, magazines and online. It is something I taught myself. It is something I enjoy and am happy to see others enjoy regardless of their gender.

    The second issue is much more complex because it deals with more specific issues of gender equality. Equality when it comes to pay, to oppertunities and to so much more. When it comes to pay in particular I appreciate that, while it is something that I have never had to deal with, there are great gender inequalities in this world. This is something that does need to be dealt with and that we all need to tackle head on. In relation to qulting in particular it seems to me that it has been clearly highlighted that we quilters often tend to undervalue our work and that now we all just need to work together to ensure that we do not continue to do so because it is only by working together that we can ensure everyone gets the fair price they deserve for their handwork. If people could just learn to be more inclusive and more supporting of each other I can't even begin to imagine how much better off we all would be.

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    1. I totally agree Paula. When I first got into quilting I was oblivious to the historical thing and the us versus them in terms of trad v's modern. Bit of a burden to put on a new quilter having to be aware of all that has gone before. I just liked the fabric I had seen online and wanted to make something pretty. When I first saw gender come up I thought seeing quilting as a woman's realm is not very inviting to male quilters who should make a quilt if they want and be applauded for it same as we applaud any female quilter. It does seem that for those who have come up against gender inequality in the real world and also wanting the quilt world to be that rosy place of happiness that there is something they feel they need to address. The emotiveness of the debate showed how deeply felt the issues were and I think that was got me wondering why in the first place these quilters were so invested in the discussion and so many others weren't.

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  7. This is a great post Ruth. Really. As a teacher, I had no issues with men getting more pay for the same work; we all started off the same, all progressed the same, dependent on your years and your university years. Period. I heard about this debate, knew it was heated, and chose to stay away. I already lose too much time to online stuff, invigorating and inspiring (or upsetting, in this case methinks) as it can be! Having a gay brother, whose lifelong friend (not his husband) has done very well in the textiles industry, and being a HUGE admirer of Kaffe, I have the "who the eff cares how old/young, whether a male/female/black/white/Muslim/Christian/atheist has done a quilt...do what makes you happy. Funny I just wrote that phrase on another comment box (QuiltingJETgirl) where she was musing about perfectionism... I truly find that intolerance is at the root of so much, if not all, of the world issues. Live and let live, as long as no one is getting abused or hurt.

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  8. Thanks Sandra! I think what I am hearing coming through the comments is an expression of a sense of fairness. There is no doubt that anyone who wants to make a quilt, male or female should be welcome in the quilting world. What seems to have kicked this round off is the issue that our society sets itself up to value maleness and so gives a male quilter an unfair advantage (more exposure in terms of press etc.)and to complain about having to answer questions about being a male quilter is also unfair. There was very little sympathy for that position, kind of a suck it up, women have a lot worse to put up with and boom we have a discussion that crossed 5 blogs. Like you said there is room for everyone and no room for hurtful and intolerant comments. For me, I would have been oblivious to the nuances of quite a lot of the issues discussed, my experience has been privileged in a lot of areas not having felt the gender inequality quite as much as others. Following this debate has led me to recognise this privilege and also to recognise that there is more work to be done to be inclusive and fair to quilters of any gender.

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